What’s All This Holiday Spending Really About?

Posted on: December 02, 2007

Ah yes, the Holidays, that time of year when we have way too much to do and not enough resources to do it. These particular holidays are often fraught with expectations. The period after the holidays, which I usually refer to as the “Post Christmas Poop Out” is often likewise filled with depression and let down. So what goes wrong, and – worse yet – what happens to our money during and after this season?

There are many traditions associated with the year-end holidays; some are particular to your heritage, some are the result of past holiday experiences. What we seem to do is try to keep all of them every year. That’s guaranteed to create exhaustion, confusion and feelings of being overwhelmed. We take a time of year that was designed to be quiet, peaceful and contemplative, the onset of winter, and slather all this loud, expensive, fattening, colorful fun all over it. Then, somehow, we expect all the symbols and metaphors to create the feelings we wanted to have.

Most of us try to recreate the actual or imagined feelings of past holidays by bringing back the same symbols and events. We have the same foods, the same rituals, the same songs….but does this really create the same feelings? Somehow we are often trying to recreate the past with traditions, and as we busy ourselves with all the preparations, we are putting a great deal of pressure on the future. How can we create the season now to be joyful, close and heartfelt?

What’s on Your Doing List?

Over the holidays people get exhausted physically, emotionally and financially. The list of things to do includes:

Presents and gifts for family, friends, co-workers, and trades people

Decorating, including the tree, outside lights, décor, maybe even reindeer in the yard

Food, including special meals, cookies, candy

Parties which entail food, drinks, invitations, hostess gifts, and new clothing

Trips to visit Santa

Pageants at school

Holiday cards, and, of course, travel

Whatever your list looks like, all this stuff has to be purchased, created, written, baked, wrapped, mailed, delivered and attended…It’s tiring just to list it, let alone do it.

And since we all know you are going to do a bunch of it any way, may I suggest that you make a list of all the holiday oriented things you need to do and on this list create three columns;

Cost in Money

Cost in Time

Cost in Energy

How much of those commodities do you actually have to give?

Let’s talk about some of the practicalities of the money portion of those resources. Theoretically, your holiday costs should be 1% of adjusted gross income. Most of us don’t even know what our adjusted gross income is, but if you take 1% of your total income, that still doesn’t seem like much money. For example if you make $45,000 per year that’s $450 and that won’t go far against that long list. Presents and gifts often represent the largest expense of the holidays. Certainly it’s a big deal for retailers. There are many stores whose success for the whole year depends entirely on the Holiday sales.

The most effective way to cut spending costs is to start by making a list (even if you hate lists). Make a list of all the things you need to do, all the people you need to gift, and set specific limits on your spending. Then, go get that much cash and no more. Statistically, if you use a credit card, you’ll spend 30% more. Don’t use your credit cards this year. If you have to, take cash from your card. The penalty for that cash advance is less than the 30% so do that instead of overspending. Spend your allotted cash and then stop.

And while you are spending all that money, notice that the real message you are trying to deliver under all this activity and hustle-bustle is to say that you really love and cherish your family, friends and dear ones.

How About Your Being List:

I think what we are trying to do with presents is honor the people, to let them know that we care for them, that they are special to us and to give them a symbol of those feelings. Your most precious commodity, your best gift, is your time. Instead of giving your time exclusively to all the doing, and all the preparation, I invite you to give your precious time to the people. Create opportunities to be with those you love and actually tell them how you feel about them. Create that relationship and experience you want in a more concrete and direct fashion. Give the gift of love, time, self and, by the way, save a little money in the process.

Spend less, enjoy more, simplify. Create new rituals and traditions for this particular season based on increasing the actual expression of your love. Pattern makers that we are, we often forget the “why” of the pattern, and begin to think it’s about the pattern. A great example is the story of Grandma’s Ham: Grandma always cut off the ends of the ham, so years later the family is still cutting off the ends of the ham. Someone finally asks Grandma why she cut off the ends of the ham and she replies, “Because the pan was too small.” Don’t let your holiday traditions become Grandma’s Hams. Review what you plan to do and make sure it is really and truly likely going to create what you want.

The Holidays are not actually about all the doing and spending, but rather are about the connecting and caring. Would your January be different if you created actual moments of connection during the Holiday Season rather than relying on the symbols of the season to carry your message? The map is not the territory; the wedding is not the marriage. For the sake of creating a meaningful and enjoyable Holiday Season what one thing will you commit to NOT doing for the sake of your holidays?

Here’s to a joyous season filled with love and connection!

Shell Tain of Sensible Coaching is a money coach. She works with people, helping them change their habits and beliefs surrounding money, and guiding them towards plenty and prosperity. Shell believes we can all enjoy bigger and fuller lives. She takes you from the crunch to the ka-ching! Shell’s clients range in income, professions, and lifestyles; she successfully coaches individuals, budding entrepreneurs (more than a quarter of her clients are in real estate and mortgage related fields), couples, small groups, corporate teams. Call or email her to schedule a free, sample session; you can also sign-up to join her monthly teleclass.